At 35 weeks I was still finding it really difficult to write out my birth plan knowing that my birth couldn’t be exactly how I wanted because of certain hospital policies. We had visited two hospitals and I was still unsure as to which one I was going to give birth at. I didn’t feel complete.

I had been reading different birth stories on the internet and every homebirth story I read gave me this feeling that this is the way that birth should take place. Ideally I wanted to have a homebirth but how would I go about finding a midwife who practiced homebirth in Israel? I didn’t have a clue as where to start!

It was then that I found out about Ilana Shemesh through her website www.leida.co.il. I remembered the site which friends had given me a few months back and decided to have a look at it.
In the English section I read about Ilana and her work as a midwife in Misgav Ledach Hospital and as a private midwife experienced in homebirths.

I called Ilana still unsure about having a homebirth even though I knew deep down that this was the way I was meant to give birth. I had grown up thinking and presuming that “everyone” gives birth in a hospital especially if it is your first pregnancy. I thought that if I didn’t call her I would only regret it later and I definitely would have if I had decided then not to call! We set up a meeting at her home, on Moshav Yashresh, which was only a 10 minute drive from our kibbutz (another “sign” that I was following my heart).

I was still unsure about having a homebirth when we arrived to meet Ilana and have a look at her clinic but as soon as I walked in I immediately felt at home. Ilana was very reassuring and answered our questions patiently and honestly. We certainly didn’t feel as if we had to make a decision right there and then but as soon as we left I told my husband that this is where I wanted to birth our son. We could have given birth at our home but living on kibbutz we felt that it wasn’t private enough for us so we decided to give birth at Ilana’s clinic at her home. Once my mind was made up I felt so at peace and complete with myself that I couldn’t believe that I had actually considered a hospital birth beforehand.

We met with Ilana again at the end of my 37th week to finalize a few details and to discuss what could go wrong that would result in a transfer to hospital. Ilana asked if I had been feeling any stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions to which I answered that I hadn’t noticed any. She said that I would probably start feeling them in about a week’s time.

On the weekend of the 28th of December, 2002 I had had loose stools and slight, widely-spaced contractions which I put down to a tummy bug and the Braxton-Hicks starting.

On Sunday, 29th of December, I went to work as usual still feeling a little contraction here and there but nothing that made me feel uncomfortable. I remember thinking to myself, “Right on time just as the books said. Two weeks to go and the Braxton-Hicks have started to become stronger.”

During the afternoon I decided to pack by bag as I thought that at 38 weeks I should have it packed in case he decided to come early.

That evening I went to bed late , after having had a “girls” night with friends and at 3am I was awakened by a contraction. This one was stronger than the ones I had been feeling earlier on and I had to breathe through it. Thank goodness we had just completed our natural childbirth class.

I couldn’t go back to sleep as all positions I tried were just too uncomfortable. At 4am I decided to time the contractions as they seemed to be pretty close together. I timed a few and they were coming about every 4-5 minutes and were lasting for about 30 seconds. I thought that this couldn’t be the real thing and that if I walked around they would probably stop soon enough. At 5am I was still having contractions and they felt stronger and closer together. I decided to wake Roee so he could time them too. We started timing them and they were now coming every 2-3 minutes and were lasting about 45 seconds. At this point I had to get into the shower as the pain in my back was very strong. The hot water was WONDERFUL!

Roee decided to call Ilana as she had told us to call when the contractions were every 3 minutes. I didn’t want him to as I thought we would be waking her for nothing as this was surely a false alarm. It couldn’t be real labour as I hadn’t felt regular contractions during the day and I had been waiting for the Braxton-Hicks to start! We ended up calling Ilana at 5:30am. Roee initially spoke to her and explained what had been happening so she asked to speak to me but at that moment I had another contraction and had to concentrate on my breathing! She told us to come over as she thought this was the real thing.

As the organized people we are (not!), it took us another half hour to finish packing and fetch the car seat from Roee’s sister before we finally left for Ilana’s! Having contractions while traveling in a car was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life! Thank goodness it only took us 10 minutes to get there!

Once we arrived we went straight to the clinic and I immediately sat on the labour ball to help ease the pain during contractions. I only managed to use it for 2 contractions as then I had the feeling I had to go to the loo! Roee had gone to call Ilana in the meantime so I got onto the bed on all fours and breathed through the next contraction. I had this feeling I needed to push but was too scared to as I was sure I hadn’t dilated enough! When Ilana arrived I told her that I had an urge to push but didn’t know if it was because I wanted to go to the loo or if it was because I wanted to push the baby out. She told me it was the same feeling so she wanted to check how far I had dilated. She had to check me twice as she couldn’t feel my cervix at all and thought that maybe it was still too far back but when she checked again she told me to go ahead and push as I was already 10 cm dilated! I think all three of us were completely surprised as I don’t think any of us thought that I would arrive fully dilated!

At 06:55 my waters broke. I thought that I had wet the whole bed as it felt like a huge waterfall gushing out. What a weird sensation!

At this point, I lay down on my side to birth our son. Ilana was so reassuring during each contraction. She kept telling me that I was doing so well and that she could see the head starting to come . She was wonderful when it came to pushing the head out as she helped me control the pushing so I wouldn’t tear. I am so thankful to her for guiding me through that stage as I honestly thought I would tear as it was truly painful! The hot compresses she applied were sheer bliss and Roee’s massaging and continuous words of encouragement did wonders!

When I felt Kai’s tiny hairy head between my legs it made me realize that I was actually helping in bringing a new life into this world. I will never forget it!

At 07:17 our little prince was born. The feeling when his body slid out was one of pure relief and emotion . When Ilana placed our little bundle onto my stomach we couldn’t control the tears! Here was this perfect little being lying on me and breathing his first breath of fresh air. It was the most empowering and emotional time of my life!

Five minutes later I felt another contraction and pushed his placenta out. We have planted it in the garden under a tree so that he will have his own “Birthday” tree.

When the cord stopped pulsating Roee cut it, ending the physical bond that we had shared so that we could start with the next phase of our lives – together.

We lay there for what felt like ages just bonding with each other and feeling each others heartbeats. After a while he began to suckle and he eventually fell asleep. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and just kept staring at his perfect little face and fingers.

After 4 hours we were on our way. I went home without any tears or stitches, without having had pain relief and I felt on top of the world! Most importantly, we had our son with us from the beginning and being able to spend our first night at home as a family was so special.

Kai’s birth was an exhilarating experience and one that will always be remembered! So many people have told me how “lucky” I was that the birth was so quick and there were no complications. I honestly feel and believe that his birth was like this because we had felt so complete with our decision to have a homebirth and we never felt afraid of this wonderful natural process!

To those of you are considering a homebirth I can only tell you good things. Most importantly, I do believe we all need to follow our hearts and go with our intuition!

I want to thank Ilana so very much for her caring and heartwarming attitude and for her professionalism. There are some people who you meet once and feel completely trusting and secure in their presence and, to me, Ilana is one of these special people.

I certainly hope to have her as my midwife again!